Few decisions fire up the soul as much as our choice of a life mate. However, our success on this decision is often determined by how well we make another, our “Find a Mate Strategy”. It’s obvious where and how we search for a mate will have a big impact on the outcome we obtain. A few criteria to consider:
High confidence decision: Our search and evaluation process should uncover all the important facts we need concerning potential mates. This sounds dry and clinical, but for this “bet the farm” decision, the quality of information really matters.
Fits my beliefs/values: I should hold to my values and beliefs during the search process; don’t lower my standards. Bottom feeders are found at the bottom.
Build relationship: My search and selection process should create a deep and rich relationship with my eventual mate; lay a good foundation for our mutual lasting commitment
Everyone grows: Make this a win-win for all parties; don’t use anyone along the way
I have to laugh when I think back to my own answer to this question, “Sit and talk with the prettiest girl on the school bus” worked well for me as a shy and nerdy high school senior. Those were simpler times.
I’ve included below the decision context for the Find-a-Mate-Strategy for our fictional example guy, Jim Geny (GenY, get it).